My 2026 Remix

Things I am going to do different in 2026. I am going to stop giving unsolicited advice. I was recently at dinner with some friends and one of the gals was expressing her confusion about a guy she is interested in. Immediately we all jumped at the chance to project our insecurities in our romantic lives on to her. This is something I have been trying to work on for a while and last night it hit me in the face so hard I had no choice but to make it a point to do something about it, so from now on I am going to sit back ask questions on how my friend is feeling and then ask if they even want my advice or just want to vent and be heard.

This prompts the next thing I am going to do differently; I am not going to take advice from just anyone. Once again this is something I thought I had corrected but here I am still subconsciously listening to some random chick on IG like she’s some key holder to the universe… like wtf?! I have lived through more shit in my short 40 years than most will ever encounter in their life, why the fuck do I think I need to listen to anyone other than myself or the few women I have in my corner.

Now I am sure there are some well educated people out there with a ton of advice on how to get through life but trust me when I say someone who has actually been through the fucking ringer knows it better than any IG influencer ever will. CHANGE MY MF MIND. And when did we stop relying on our own inner voice anyway?! Like seriously when did it become the norm to question our own feelings but never question advice from others.

Segway into my next change which is to trust myself before anyone else. I have always squashed my inner knowing to please others or make sure I wasn’t rude or hurtful to anyone and that got me taken advantage of and treated like I was weak and stupid. Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying I am going to be an outright bitch to people just because people were mean to me. What I am saying is that if my gut is off about anything person, place, or thing. I am not going to waste my time or energy on it.

Instead of giving everyone the benefit of the doubt I say prove me wrong. If my gut says I can’t trust you I won’t until you can prove otherwise. This also goes for the be kind to everyone theory. Ummm. No. I am a good person and I am kind but if someone is shitty and has no purpose in my life then they can fuck right off. I do not need to waste energy of any kind on someone who plays no role in my life. No hate no drama just nothing. Not everyone that we encounter has to be a lesson or have anything to do with us they can just be people who exist on this planet. Now as a Buddhist this might sound like it goes against what I practice which is to chant for the happiness of all mankind and I do but the realist in me knows that I am only a small piece in this and in Buddhism true happiness comes from within. What I am saying is that I can simultaneously chant and pray for the world to be a happy loving place but still protect my peace and happiness by removing people who do not bring that into my life.

Now I know what most of you are thinking… sounds like I still have some healing to do. Which brings me to the final thing I am going to do differently. I am no longer going to work on “healing” myself. I am going to work through things that have caused me pain. I am going to recognize bad habits and behaviors and correct them. I am going to change my thinking patterns so that I uphold a healthy mindset. But I am no longer “healing” anything because I will never be healed!! None of us will. Life is going to continue to challenge us and throw shit at us when we’re already carrying more than we can handle. It is up to us and the mindset we have built, and the support system we have, to get through tough times. I am not hating on healing I am just saying let’s reframe what it is that we are doing. If we look at it as healing and continue to have feelings surface when something unexpected happens or handle something in a less ideal way than we would have liked, then we will never feel healed. And you guys it is okay to not be okay!! No one knows what the fuck they are doing here but as long as you take the time to look within be open to your flaws and shortcomings and take a step back to see where to make the corrections and accepting parts of you that aren’t perfect then you my friend are already doing better than most of the people in your life. If you then start to surround yourself with people who do the same you have now created a support group that allows you to be broken and will love you as a scattered mess on the floor just as much as they loved you whole on that pedestal. And those same people will not only be there to put you back together again, but they will put you up on an even higher pedestal. So, heal if you want to but I am going to accept me for who I am at this moment in time and I am going to love her unconditionally. And when life lifes I will do the work necessary to overcome it. I mean Ferris Bueller said it best…